Intention, Freedom & Flow

Intending to BE

I get an idea, hear a song, see something interesting, or experience something that leaves a lasting impression on me, and there it is. I sit down and I write a story, post, newsletter, blog (or whatever this is). I write from beginning to end without a break and then I reread it once and hit send.

My 20 year old writing fiend daughter gets excited to write a story, so she sits down and for weeks she outlines it in detail. Her outline is SO in depth that it is essentially the first draft. By the time she sits down to write the final copy, it’s practically all there already.

I am respectful of people who plan and plan and plan. I am curious about people who can say what they want to be doing in five years or ten years down the road. And at the same time, I am also struck by how complicated life can be and how many things can throw a wrench into the best laid plans. Try as I might, I cannot even lay out a daily schedule to stick to unless it has plenty of “open spaces” for me to just be and do whatever. (Today I was supposed to work in the garden, but here I am!) I am also someone who finds too many restrictions confining and stifling. If you have a schedule all laid out each day, how do you relax, BE, create freely? Is creative flow on demand for some people? Is there a spigot of creativity I need to install or turn on?

I have been told by mentors and teachers that I need to set aside a specific time each day to do this and that - including writing. Let’s just say I have tried and somehow, it rarely works. I meditate when I wake up and right before bedtime - and that can vary quite wildly depending on how my day is unfolding (insert foster kittens here). I practice yoga everyday but it can be at 6:30am or at noon or at 7:30pm (maybe all of those times some days - insert family, foster kittens, drama unfolding). I LOVE fluidity. I THRIVE on fluidity.

Can you see where intent can be a tricky little word for me???

So when someone asked me to explain why I write, what I am trying to accomplish, and who am I writing for - I froze. I write because I love it (isn’t that enough?) - the way words can create a scene, inspire people, help others feel connected, give voice to something that needs to be heard, share experiences and generally bring people together.

What am I trying to accomplish? I have to ask here why everything in this world is about accomplishment, doing, producing. What about just being and sharing and connecting? I want to share and I hope that someone finds it useful or sweet or inspiring. Maybe they do and maybe they don’t. It’s okay to simply read something and enjoy it. Maybe it lights a spark or gives an “aha” moment or simply warms a heart. Maybe it entertains or maybe it just is. That’s okay.

And who am I writing for? You. The YOU who wants to connect, share, feel. Writing is where I can be fully me in all my humanity, all my struggles, all my joys and bliss. For others experiencing their humanity, perhaps some of what I write resonates with you.

I don’t write for the algorithm, for attention, to teach, to be heard. I write because in the deepest parts of me resides a writer, who in her mind, turns every beautiful and challenging life event and experience into words - and those words seek a place to land.

A thousand times a day I find myself internally writing a story, telling a tale, describing something in detail so someone can “be” fully immersed. Why not share these with others? (Thank you Substack for offering a space where writers can share their stories, tales, experiences, perspectives in one huge, supportive, and loving creative community.)

Intention vs. Flow. Can I intend to flow? Can I intend to simply allow myself to be and tap into the flow of life, to live intuitively and from the heart? Can I choose to be intentionally unintentional with my writing or is that intent? Do I have to have a plan, a reason, a goal in mind when I write? Maybe. Maybe not.

What do you think? How much of your life is “intentional” and how much is flow? Are they opposites, complementary, or something else? Maybe it is intention and flow - intend to flow - flowing intention.

My intent today - explore, breathe, live, experience, move, rest, heal, feel, connect, share, BE. And maybe write a bit more about something/nothing/everything.

Aprille XXx

To

Mark

and

Moon Arica

, thank you for the though provoking prompt this month for the April Kaleidoscope Project. I “intend” to keep thinking about this a bit more…