Permission to Rest

When what you really need is a nap...(be more like a cat)

The end of the semester is hectic, my college age children are locked in their rooms for hours, coming down only for more tea, chocolate, or baked goods. They wake up early and do homework until the late evening hours - projects due, papers to be written, tests to prepare for, quizzes to take. Exhausted. Mentally drained. In desperate need of some love, rest, and support.

This week was particularly intense as we had multiple medical appointments that included an MRI, an echo, and a specialist visit - extended visits, filled with stress, and all the way across the metroplex 1.5 hours away. And I have been battling an antibiotic resistant infection which has resulted in multiple medications and all the exhaustion, stomach upset, and sleeplessness involved in that for the last 3 weeks. We looked like high functioning post apocalyptic zombies.

So as the weekend approached and I saw the dull eyes, dejected slumped shoulders, gray pallor of my family (and reflected in my own mirror), I offered up an idea. What about focusing on rest, recovery, relaxation for the entire weekend? We discussed doing a few minor chores on Saturday morning (just basic household stuff) then crawling into my bed and binge watching cooking shows, napping, reading, snuggling each other and cats for the entire day. We ate in bed. We had tea in bed. We petted cats, snuggled, hugged, talked, read, watched cooking shows, napped on and off. When Sunday arrived, I felt a twinge of guilt. There was so much to do around the house and my list was long. But we talked it over and decided to work for one hour at top speed, get all our work done and repeat Saturday’s schedule.

Over the weekend we had several conversations about trying to balance life - getting enough sleep, rest, good food, time to just relax. They told me about things they had tried to implement in their lives but sometimes the due dates made it impossible. They both admitted they were burnt out and exhausted.

At about 5:30pm on Sunday evening, I looked over and both my kids were sound asleep curled up next to me. Their color was better, and they looked, finally, completely at ease. Over the weekend we had also focused on eating healthy, high protein and vegetable meals, and drinking gallons of water - another great way to support yourself when you feel zombielike. On Sunday , upon saying good night, my daughter said to me “Mom, thank you for teaching us about taking breaks and for suggesting we take a weekend to rest.” She hugged me super tight and I could tell that for both of them, being given permission to rest and recover had been powerful and priceless.

Growing up, my parents worked hard during the week but when the weekend came, they had a list of things that needed to be attended to. There was house cleaning, mowing the huge yard, repairs to be made everywhere, cooking and cleaning up, more yard work. There were no “off” days or breaks. There were either social events we were required to attend and/or lots of chores that needed to be handled. Growing up, I remember being SO grateful the weekend was over!

This is not something I want to share with the next generation. I don’t want my kids to see the weekend as a time to double down and work, to scramble to get all the extra stuff done, as two days to work so hard they come into the next week exhausted. I want them to value and carve out time for healing and deep rest. I want them to schedule their “me” time and not back down when someone wants to steal it from them. I want them to learn about self care and self love at a level where they listen to their bodies and minds and honor what is happening by responding with compassion and kindness.

When I went to bed last night I was so sad - sad that our weekend together was over - but also so happy that we all spent some time rebooting and refilling our cups together. And when we all got up this morning, we felt so much better - ready to take on the next challenge, complete the semester, finish up probate, and finish out the month with energy remaining.

What are we teaching the next generation? What are we teaching our kids about self care? What are we teaching them about how to have healthy habits that include taking days off to heal and restore?

The world is incredibly fast paced, full of rushing and bustling because we have these magical handheld computers with us 24/7 - we never get a mental, physical, or emotional break. We are required to always be “on” for public consumption, to be available 24/7 for whatever the world wants or demands from us, and we are suffering from the largest epidemic of mass burnout and exhaustion ever recorded in history.

But there is an option. Rest. In the circles I inhabit, we call it sacred rest. Why sacred? Because it’s powerful healing medicine for the pain, suffering, and overwhelm we live with in this present world climate. We must CHOOSE to take that break. Choose to step away, rest, heal, and recover from all that is expected of us and required of us by the world around us.

What is your self healing plan? Have you ever considered setting a scheduled break for yourself for healing? How do you feel when you hear the words rest or sacred rest? What is your image of “rest” for you in your present life?

If you don’t have a plan or a schedule healing/rest time, please consider making one. They can be anything from a few hours to whole days to weekends. Imagine the feeling of a vacation where you don’t have to do anything, aren’t required to be anywhere, and there is absolutely NO pressure. You can choose to wake up and do whatever you feel like as a rest day or you can nap in bed all day under a blanket with a good book or podcast. Whatever it is, set aside some scheduled time each week to refill your cup - knowing that by doing so, you will feel more fulfilled and more present in your everyday living.

Love, Aprille XXo

PS We have vowed to make one day each weekend a softer, more relaxing space for us all - time to nap, sit in the sun and read, pet a cat for hours, listen to music or do whatever feeds our souls and heals us even if it is for a few hours. And quarterly, we would like to do what we did this past weekend again - pause, step back and just relax. It was incredibly healing and supportive, helping us feel strong enough to handle whatever was coming our way.