Summer Memory
"Sensing" summer throughout our lives
I remember summers far back into my life - sleeping in late, reading all day, sitting out on the porch on a lounge chair just letting the glorious sun soak into my bones. It’s not to say that I love summer more than any other season but that I love the “memory” of summer. Most of my memory is linked directly to the smells, sounds, and sensory impressions I experienced.
I remember swinging on our home swing, an orange, yellow and green metal playset, pumping my legs as hard as I could, the wind whipping my two curled ponytails back along my head then whipping it back into my face for a few minutes as I swung back and forth getting so high the playset would begin to rock and shift. There were the days spent hiking around the woods from early morning until dusk with my sister (we lived in the mountains and had very few neighbors much less fences) finding new pathways, pretending we were Battlestar Galactica characters on a far way planet battling monster robots. We drank from streams, ate the deep fuschia sweet oval prickly pears off the cacti with our fingers, and rambled on. Sometimes we would find a rock that was big enough for us both to lie on and we would watch the clouds roll by describing each shape as it appeared to us and shifted into another.
Some days I would wake up, eat breakfast and read a whole series of books all day with my feet up on the chair, barely aware of anyone or anything. There were days we would put on a record and dance around crazily, jump off the sofa onto the cushions set up on the floor or build elaborate tent houses using all of my mother’s fabric held up by metal tv trays, chairs, and books. We would lie under our blue and purple tinted tent and dream, tell stories, make up characters to playact out. Our minds were full of characters from the outer planets to princes and princesses around the world. We pretended to be Charlie’s Angels and “catch” the bad guys (usually our dog or cat who at the time was attempting to sleep, but was nonetheless dragged into the story by two wildly creative and won’t take no for an answer girls). Sometimes, when the sky went gray and the smell of a storm approaching caught us, we would jump into our bathing suits and wait until the sky fell heavy with raindrops and we would dance, scream, shout, and giggle. We would tumble into the house, drenched, laughing, and happy - dry off, and settle in to watch the storm race by followed by the most glorious of rainbows.
I remember the sweet taste of watermelon and the fear I had of eating a watermelon seed because an uncle jokingly said it would grow a watermelon in my belly. I remember spending time on the porch, leaning over the side, elbows spread out taking huge bites out of a quarter slice of watermelon - juice dripping off my elbows, my face covered in pink. The sweet, juicy, sticky fruits of summer were my favorites and more than once I spent the day eating only peaches or only watermelon or only nectarines.
I remember the smell of freshly hung laundry, the sweet dewy grass smell of each morning as the sun rose, the heat of the day turning it into the smell of warm drying grass as the day got hotter and hotter. There were the parties where we turned a sprinkler on (you know the kind that whirls) and jumped over it as it came around like a water jump rope over and over. Then there was the summer of the trampoline my cousins received as a gift. We poured dish soap on the trampoline and then hooked the hose to flow across it. You can imagine the slip and slide we created and the bubbles that frothed across the surface. And back then, there were NO nets to catch you on the trampoline - we slipped right off the edge and into the long, cool green grass with a soft sploosh on the waterlogged ground. We played badminton until we couldn’t see anymore or the fireflies distracted us and invited a chase. We dug up wild garlic and with barefoot feet, stuck our feet into the cold squishy mud for summer heat relief. And then, when the night came, we stumbled home with sunburnt shoulders and cheeks, huge smiles on our faces, sticky fingers/arms/faces ready to sleep for a little while before starting it all over again tomorrow.
Summer smelled and tasted delicious. It felt delicious.
So it surprised me this morning when I sat down for tea that I somehow have reached the Summer Solstice this year without REALLY enjoying it fully. Summer used to be about freedom, lightness, fun, joy, playing, being wild and crazy. Have I lost that? Has my life and have I changed SO much that I no longer feel connected to that inherent high energy that comes with the summer season?
I am always a forward thinking person so in my mind I have to ask, how can I bring this back? How can I “change” my perception, experience, and state of living to align more with this sweetness I remember so fondly? I want to wake up and feel excited to jump out of bed and explore the glorious day waiting for me (even if not all of it turns out glorious). I want to feel, see, taste, smell, and hear the subtle and not so subtle changes happening around me in nature. I want to not just be aware a bird is singing but actually HEAR the birds song. Simple, right? I crave the simple pleasures and the joy that comes from being fully present for them. Good food, good friends, a life of gratitude and being fully awake.
Nothing lasts forever and life is fleeting. I cannot wait and say that when this or that is done, I will finally enjoy it. I cannot…and will not…put off living an inspired life any longer.
Where to begin? Here are some of my ideas:
Explore something in nature each day even if its for 5 minutes. Watch an ant, listen to the birds, follow a lizard, admire a new flower or plant, watch clouds drift.
Plan less, live more. I tend to overbook my days and have a long list of to do’s which then get further added to when I see something that needs doing in the moment. I spent the whole day today “finding things to do” which honestly didn’t actually need to be done RIGHT NOW. And the result, yes the office is cleaner but I never go around to painting, playing with the cats, reading the magazine I laid out or even journaling all because I focused so much on my to do.
Schedule creative time. Friday is art day. EVERY Friday is art day. it is sacred in my household and NOTHING gets scheduled on Friday. Pick a day, a half day, an hour every day. Book yourself some painting, crocheting, baking, drawing, writing time each and every week/day.
Schedule self care dates. I cannot stress this one enough. When I put things on the family calendar that say “home meditation retreat”, everyone gives me space to enjoy that. Everyone knows I have writing workshops once a month so no one asks anything of me during that time.
Schedule free days - yes, put it on the calendar that TODAY I am going to do whatever I want, however I want, whenever I want. This might mean sleeping all day or binging Netflix or reading books all day (just like I did as a child). It can be whatever you want it to be without pressure and without guilt.
Experience or sense something beautiful? Slow down. Savor it. Emma my new black kitten was sitting on my lap with her face to the sunlight and her long wispy eyebrows and whiskers caught the light just right. I was headed to do a chore but I stopped and just admired the beauty of her wild hair interacting with the sun. I sometimes just sit and watch the waterfall outside catch the light, each tiny drop a sparkling diamond for a fleeting moment.
Experience in real time without the need to document it on your phone/social media/text. Just enjoy the moment. Something is still amazing and beautiful even if you are the only one seeing it right now. It’s okay, we don’t need to share everything.
Be crazy and wild - even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day. Dance crazy, sing a song at the top of your lungs, go out and hug your favorite tree or sing it a song. Be spontaneous and light (this one is kinda hard for me I will admit). Do something outside your usual, predictable comfort zone and see how it makes you feel.
Lie on your back outside and just stare at the sky. Breathe. Use your senses to reconnect to the rhythms of life all around you. Close your eyes and listen to the rustle of leaves, the cars moving past, the birds singing. Take a deep breath in and smell the pine tree, the flowers at the end of the garden, the green grass. Feel the sun and breeze on your skin, the ground or chair beneath you, the texture of your clothing as it moves or shifts against your body. SENSE life.
Change is challenging and if you have become stuck in a rut like I have - panic!panic!, hair on fire, run around, get things done, finish the list, solve everyone’s problems - it might be hard to reconnect to and realign with the way you want your life to be versus the way your life is. That’s okay. Take baby steps. Join me and let’s find our way together. Small changes each day. Now step outside and follow that lizard…
Love, Aprille Xxoo
What do you think? Share some of your own ideas below in the comments. I would love to hear from you!
This post inspired by summer and the Kaleidoscope Project June “change” prompt from
and . Change is very much a part of my journey right now so this lands at the perfect time : )
Loving the memories of your summers past Aprille, so detailed I could see them in my minds eye. It really sounds like a montage from a film of how a child spends their summer.
💜😇💖☯️💗☮️💞and reliving those great childhood moments!!