An object at rest will stay at rest unless forced to move. Last month I signed up for a membership. I clicked yes before I could talk myself out of it with my usual, “hey, you don’t really want this, it might be hard” conversation.
I chose something challenging, uncomfortable, and honestly, pushes many of my buttons - I need to shake free of inertia. For the past 18 months, other people have been deciding my fate (or I should say I have let them) - deciding where I will be at certain times, when I will be there, how much I will or will not do, and some even suggesting how I should feel. This has chafed. Yes, chafed. Passive survival just isn’t me.
Lately I have been feeling the need to break out of this pattern. But how? Experimentation. I decided to learn to crochet (and wow am I really slow and honestly rather bad at it so far but who cares as it is very soothing), I took on my first pet foster role (next month I get 4 week old kittens!) and I am experimenting with some new practices, foods, routines, creative arts, and ways of living to break out of the stodgy state I have been feeling stuck in.
Grooves, or in yoga - samskaras, are healthy and supportive patterns - at the time. And then, as time goes by and we grow, we outgrow these patterns - just like we outgrow clothes because of style or size or lifestyle. My practices/rituals/habits have served me well for the last few years but now it is time to rework them for the present “me”.
Some things have been moved to settle into other times of day and some things are brand new to the schedule of “Aprille’s magical day”. From a new breakfast and snack plan with some fun new healthy natural proteins to reducing my screen time by 50% each day, I am experimenting to see what will help me live more present. And because I have a tendency to return to my old patterns and fall into comfort/passivity/inertia, I signed up for a membership that is super challenging (and I will feel I need to actually engage with because I paid for it AND because I want to support other yoga teachers). Everyday I head up to my yoga space and I practice a sweaty, challenging, heating, and faster moving Vinyasa yoga practice than I am comfortable with trying new transitions, visiting advanced poses and methods, and generally learning A LOT about myself. Some days I absolutely hate it and some days I love every second. Some days I want to cancel my membership and just lie on the floor with a blanket, and some days I wonder how I can fit in 2+ classes today.
This morning as I lay on the floor breathing heavily, I said I am gonna cancel this stupid membership. By noon I was ready to take another class. Why? Because we thrive on challenging things. We love/hate things that make us do stuff outside of our comfort zones. I love my yoga practice but I have become a bit complacent in it and that’s not what’s best for me right now in my life. I need things to spark my creative brain, to light a fire in me, to release pent up energy that is not mine and needs to leave, to challenge my belief that revolved triangle isn’t the worst pose in the entire world.
And you know what? I feel stronger each and every day. Not just physically stronger (although I swear my muscles are remembering they are there and now actually working), but mentally more resilient. I feel more confident because I transitioned between Warrior 3 and Half Moon poses several times without falling. Stronger in my sense of self as I hold Crow pose with more ease. And more resilient because I used blocks in new ways that helped me feel held and supported (mentally, emotionally, and physically). I feel myself more present with each breath due to more meditation each day and less screen time. I eat better to support my lifestyle. I have time for the things that bring me joy and time to properly reflect on and process the things that are challenging. Most of all - I am learning and living.
All of this makes me THINK and to be honest, I think I might have been just snoozing through the last 18 months. This month I am experimenting, trying new things to keep my spark alive and WAKE THE HELL UP.
To break free of this inertia, you have to TRY NEW THINGS. Maybe you will love them. Maybe you will hate them. But the whole point is that you tried and in doing so, you form new neural pathways, maybe choose left instead of right, try new foods/songs/books/concerts/art/friends, discover something new that might or might not be the thing that uplifts you right now, and learn SO much about yourself.
So instead of choosing to just keep doing what you are doing OR staying in your comfort zone, why not try a little experimentation? Change your day up with a reorganization or add in something new and edgy, commit to 30 days of a new practice and see how it goes. Recommit to you - your growth, life, fulfillment, dreams, aspirations, hopes. And if you are like me and struggle with motivation sometimes, sign up for something that makes you accountable to ACTUALLY do it. No matter how hard it is, how uncomfortable it is, or how much you want to lie on the floor with a blankie, eat chocolate chips and binge Netflix, and hide out in your room - remember that challenges are what inspire us. Step out of your comfort zone, experiment with your life, and wake up! You might be surprised how fulfilling it can be : )
Love, Aprille Xxoo
PS If you want to practice yoga and meditation with me, you can find me on Insight Timer, YouTube, The Yoga Ranger Studio Online.
Thank you to
and for hosting the Kaleidoscope Project and inspiring thought, presence, and creativity this month!And if you have read this far, my pet foster experiment was an utter failure - I adopted Miss Emma MaoMao (previously Emilia Bedelia)! (For details see “Left Behind”) She is the light or “dark” of my life and has brought me so much joy. Luckily, I did manage to foster and not adopt Monty the kitten who will be ready for his furever home very soon.
I really feel this Aprille, it can feel like we're sleeping through life and need to wake up. I'm glad you're doing things that challenge you and embracing the experimental side of life!